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|Offering Sensual Massage for Women. slut finder in Isla De Tibas Hott Damn First off, this is a personals ad posted on Craigslist. Some random guy online, looking to convince a girl that they should totally go on a date with him (that�be you, hypothetiy speaking), and he�s assuring the reader (again, you) that everything is TOTALLY on the up-and-up. I shave, I don�t own a van, and I don�t include my middle name when making introductions (John Wayne Gacey, H.H. Holmes, 75482 stream horny mature Mark David Chapman, etc,). Nothing can POSSIBLY go wrong with meeting someone online. Since the goal is to get you interested in me, let�s talk about me: -I�m x years old. That�s pretty much the worst age ever, because I�m old enough to know better, but still young and (and stupid) enough to do it anyway. -I�m sound as a pound. Meaning: I pay my rent and bills on time and in full, drive a nice car that I paid for myself, married dating service and Nantes, Quebec and still make it a priority to save. I buy my own clothes, food, and beer, and always offer to pay for dinner. To me, cleverly trying to pass on costs to my date or friends just reeks of sketchiness, and I�d rather pay my fair share than scheme toward saving a few bucks. I�m an awesome guy, and don�t want to appear sketchy. Which leads me to my next point�.. -I�m an awesome guy! All false modesty aside, I�m a reasonably attractive guy, and I�ve caught girls giving me the blatant up-and-down before. (I can count the number of times I�ve busted them on xxx hand though, in all fairness). In addition to not being aesthetiy revolting, I make it a point to dress presentably, I know how to act in public, and I�ve got hobbies. I like to run, ride my bike, and play soccer to keep in shape. Aside from that, I play video games (nothing shows a man�s true character better than how he treats pre-teen griefers on Xbox Live), regularly wrench on my cars, and read constantly. I�ve got a fascination with books, and will buy anything that catches my interest. -I�ve got skills. For serious. Other than the nunchuck and computer-hacking skills that every real man possesses in abundance, I�ve learned to do a lot of things. I can replace brakes, re-do your headliner, hang pictures, do CPR, ask for directions when I�m lost, re numbers and birthdays with savant-like skill, have a joke ready for every occasion, disengage from awkward and boring conversations like a social ninja, and make love like an eagle falling out of the sky. For everything else, I�ve got my parents and the internet. So that was me. Let�s spend a little time getting to know you! Hopefully, you: -Are awesome! I want to meet a cool girl. By cool, I mean you�ve got an open-minded approach to life and don�t take shit from anyone, unless you damn-well deserve it. -Are confident and attractive. I�m not holding the ladies of Craigslist to an unreasonable expectation, either. I�m not demanding perfection, because I�d never find it. While I�m not cut like Adonis, I still am in pretty damn good shape and take care of myself. I�d expect the same in a potential partner. Confidence, wardrobe, and hygiene go a long way toward making up for any outward flaws. I don�t really have a �type�, nor will I make a list of physical requirements. Why? Because then some awesome girl with the wrong-colored hair or height wouldn�t email me, and I�d miss out. Basiy what I�m saying is this: If you had the opportunity to change sexes for a day and fuck your �old� self, would you? -Are intelligent: This is a pretty big deal to me, and if you�re full-moron I just won�t be able to tough it out. You need to have some critical thinking, good decision-making skills, and having enough life-experience and general knowledge to be a good conversationalist. If we can�t converse, those silences in the car will be frequent and embarrassing. -Are NOT a bitch. Seriously, you can�t be a man-hater. I don�t care what your ex did to you, when your dad left, or how many construction workers cat- you (seriously, has that ever happened? I�ve never been cat-ed in my life. I think it�d be kind of a day-maker), but I�m a man, not all men. If you start tripping for imagined slights, or treat the wait-staff poorly for fun, you�ll be getting the rough side of my tongue. -Are pretty self-sufficient and independent: Please have your shit together. Have a car (unless your lifestyle renders xxx unnecessary), be employed, and have other interests/friends. I want to date you, not support you wholly and completely. Go get appletinis with your girlfriends, or attend your knitting circle, or whatever. Just have a hobby or cause that is its� own inherent value so I�m not stuck sitting on the couch with you, debating on whether to shoot myself or slip in the next �Grey�s Anatomy� DVD. -Like sweet music and movies. Sure, good taste isn�t objective, but if your Netflix Instant queue is filled with �Ace of Cakes� and �Jersey Shore�, we�re done here. That�s about the long and short of it. You�re wondering why this self-styled awesome guy hasn�t up-and-gone found himself a girl in the real world. Ask. I�ll wait�.. ���It�s because my schedule is retarded busy. I�ve got an intensive job that requires me to be on at all-times, and my hours are long on day turn. When I get home, I really don�t feel like suiting up and heading downtown to crawl the meat markets for girls. They�re loud and messy (the bars, and some of the girls too, I suppose), you�re x -beers deep with your girlfriends, and there�s that social game we have to play, where I ply you with alcohol and then DON�T get a number, because you�ve got your girls running interference. When I go out, I wanna drink and have fun with my friends. Mating games are dumb. I�m finally d xxx Thank you for reading, and I hope to hear from you. *No picture here because this is the world wide internetz. Anyone can see this shit! I�ll be happy to e-mail you a few images when you reply to my ad with a few lines and a picture, to prove that you aren�t a creepy old dude. Skowhegan ME bi horny wives .